A brief email from Lord Mesmo in Horsham at the G20 summit.

Dear Miss T'su

Hope all going well with you and that things aren't too quiet in the News Blimp without me! I must say, it was all a bit bloody austere round here on the first day and all the blathering on about recession and wearing dark suits was starting to get me a bit peeved.

I was seriously thinking that the 'gang' had gone a bit soft until, midway through Darling droning on like a broken washing machine, a Champagne cork popped at the back of the hall and Merkel - Who I hadn't spotted slipping away from the table - Popped up out of a cake throwing bundles of Euro and wraps of bugle to the entire throng.

Seems like they'd hatched a surprise party for me and just wanted to see how far I could slump into boredom before I started trying to bag Gordon with Amelia Tweed's 12-Gauge (again).

Still, we have to be a bit careful this time round - These aren't the happy days of yore... Not like that wonderful time with you and I in Seattle eh? Oh, how you flushed with delight after a day out amongst the protesters with your new 5" heels and that signed Sammy Sosa 'Slugger' steel baseball bat... Happy days... Oh, where was I?

Ah yes, we have to be on the lookout this time as we have the 'New Boy's' people in town and what a very serious bunch they are - Not like the old lot. Seems like we have one on our hands that actually wants to get something done this time, but he'll soon learn.

Anyway, Szarkozy came up with a wizard wheeze and every time they came in the room he told them in earnest 'Franglais' that their Lord and Master had just been on the phone and that he sounded "Ze 'opping mad", they'd turn around so fast their heels left a mark on the parquet floor - Leaving us to get on with the real business.

So - We're midway through 'negotiations' about now and I reckon that Germany and Russia are about £10bn down each... Especially after I went all-in on that last hand and called Merkel's bluff and with no more than a pair of three's as well... Ha! At this rate, I reckon we should have the budgets balanced by the end of the week.

Anyway, must dash as Gordon is doing a press conference later and that's always good for a giggle.

Love to all and remember that the armoury is due a polish this Sunday... As if you would forget!

TTFN!