In answer to your continued urging for a safer society, Lord Mesmo this week announced the latest vital weapon in the 'War against enemies of the people and happiness' by unveiling a massive new travel observation centre in Wythenshawe, near Manchester, England.
The centre, staffed with 300 Police and Immigration Officers will hold the travel records of every one of the 60 million inhabitants of Britain, as well as monitoring their credit card use and phone traffic while abroad.
Getrude Creep, Head of the AMC's 'Comfort & Safety' division gushed with enthusiasm for the project, which will build a complete profile of every person in the UK, storing information for over 10 years "Just in case they get up to anything naughty".
"It's a fantastic piece of equipment" she went on to explain "Which can detect, at the push of a button, excessive or irrational duty free purchasing for products such as Britney Spears new fragrance, people on a diet buying Giant Toblerone or even match text records of New Years resolutions against bulk pack cigarette purchases" before adding with a smile "This system will provide the AMC with saleable marketing data for generations to come".
It is not thought that the system will be able to detect terrorist activity but will at least be able to clarify if they had bought a gift pack of Brut 33 at any time before carrying out their dastardly act.
Lt. Augustine Bung, Head of Lord Mesmo's Secret Service denied that he existed and so was unavailable for comment.
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