Help combat this threat to National Unity!

Dear Readers

Recent events surrounding the unseemly dairy haranguing of Gavin Sachet, my Minister for Beastly Things, has forced us to elevate the current security status surrounding Ministers and important people to the Auburn Level.

As you will be aware, this is just above Sienna but directly below Amber, meaning that it would require a Topaz critical announcement to take the state of alert to a full blown Carnation.

Please read the following information and refer to the GUEST SPEAKER column in the 'Illiterate and Fraudster' for Gertrude Creep's announcement on the current situation and for further information.

Thank you my dear, dear friends.

To read the 'Illiterate and Fraudster' CLICK HERE