Many Happy Returns from the G20 summit!

Well dear readers, what a lovely few days and I must say that it's a little bit of a challenge writing this today as your dear lord and mentor is nursing just the tinciest hangover.

The G20 was a rousing success and good larks were had by all. It was a little difficult this year to have quite the japes we normally do as that Obama chap kept popping up and trying to be serious about everything. Thankfully though, Silvio was on hand to run 'interference' and every time we spotted the aloof troublemaker coming our way to put the dampers on, we'd just send old 'Bellers' out to fawn all over him like a wet puppy.

It worked a bloody treat I can tell you - After 2 hours just the sight of the Italian slicked-back raven locks were enough to prompt a squeaking of heals on the marble floor and a swift retreat to a roomfull of burly CIA types with dark glasses and 56" chests in badly fitting black suits.

Only trouble with Silvio is that, once you've let him off the leash you just can't do a bloody thing with him and he only went and upset 'Lady Babs' by his constant hounding and haranguing of the Omnipotent one during the photo-call. You had to laugh.

Still, it did leave us clear for a few fun and games and thankfully Merkel was on form - Sticking 'Kick me' post-it's on Gordon's back every time he got up from his chair had us in stitches and it always amazes me the capacity for Schnapps that woman has.

I must say that Sarkozy was a bit of a disappointment this time round. He's normally one of the main ringleaders at the after-hours excursions around the seedier back-roads of town but he spent most of this trip on the bloody phone to Carla or getting pussy-whipped up and down Bond Street, as she geared up for the big 'Fashion-Off' with Michelle 'O' in Paris - I haven't seen that many shopping bags since Miss T'su went to the leather and PVC expo.

Talking of the crack of whip and click of pointed heel - It was magnificent to see the delectable one in full flow against the great unwashed out on the streets in Bishopsgate. Law and Order has never been as high on my agenda, so to speak, as when discipline is being administered to the masses by my faithful right hand henchwoman.

Anyway. You'll be glad to know that in the midst of all the fun and frolics, we got lots of work done and that we signed a great BIG cheque for trillions of dollars to... well... Ourselves. So, jolly fine work 'us' and it's next stop Japan in the autumn.

Some of the gang had wanted the Caribbean for our 'validation' meeting but I pointed out that it was closer to the US and it would mean more of Obama's lot turning up and spoiling the fun - And anyway, the Sake is always so good at that time of year.

That's all for now chums! Toodle-Pip and see you soon for more on the 'Summer of Unity!'

A brief email from Lord Mesmo in Horsham at the G20 summit.

Dear Miss T'su

Hope all going well with you and that things aren't too quiet in the News Blimp without me! I must say, it was all a bit bloody austere round here on the first day and all the blathering on about recession and wearing dark suits was starting to get me a bit peeved.

I was seriously thinking that the 'gang' had gone a bit soft until, midway through Darling droning on like a broken washing machine, a Champagne cork popped at the back of the hall and Merkel - Who I hadn't spotted slipping away from the table - Popped up out of a cake throwing bundles of Euro and wraps of bugle to the entire throng.

Seems like they'd hatched a surprise party for me and just wanted to see how far I could slump into boredom before I started trying to bag Gordon with Amelia Tweed's 12-Gauge (again).

Still, we have to be a bit careful this time round - These aren't the happy days of yore... Not like that wonderful time with you and I in Seattle eh? Oh, how you flushed with delight after a day out amongst the protesters with your new 5" heels and that signed Sammy Sosa 'Slugger' steel baseball bat... Happy days... Oh, where was I?

Ah yes, we have to be on the lookout this time as we have the 'New Boy's' people in town and what a very serious bunch they are - Not like the old lot. Seems like we have one on our hands that actually wants to get something done this time, but he'll soon learn.

Anyway, Szarkozy came up with a wizard wheeze and every time they came in the room he told them in earnest 'Franglais' that their Lord and Master had just been on the phone and that he sounded "Ze 'opping mad", they'd turn around so fast their heels left a mark on the parquet floor - Leaving us to get on with the real business.

So - We're midway through 'negotiations' about now and I reckon that Germany and Russia are about £10bn down each... Especially after I went all-in on that last hand and called Merkel's bluff and with no more than a pair of three's as well... Ha! At this rate, I reckon we should have the budgets balanced by the end of the week.

Anyway, must dash as Gordon is doing a press conference later and that's always good for a giggle.

Love to all and remember that the armoury is due a polish this Sunday... As if you would forget!

TTFN!