Showing posts with label Enemies of Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Enemies of Happiness. Show all posts

16/03/2009

More Enemies in our Midst!


Dear reader,

I know that it seems that I'm coming to you these days with ghastly warnings and plea's for help every two minutes... But I do beg you. Take note of our dear Miss Creep's new words of warning on terrorist activity.


She has singled out the following items as being potential terrorist threats in the wrong hands and so I would urge all of you once again to watch your neighbours, friends, family members and loved ones with an eagle eye and to suspect the enemy in our midst.

Contact Gertrude Creep or the Comfort & Safety Division at the slightest whiff of vanilla, or even if your partner should start taking potential 'practice swings' by carelessly tossing their shoes into the corner of the bedroom at night.

Remember... An enemy of Happiness is an enemy of National Unity and I know I can trust you to tell us as soon as you spot anything - After all, only those with anything to hide eh? And all that!

Toodle Pip!

11/03/2009

A Riotous piece of fun!


Well, Dear Readers

We all know how those lovely people over at 'The Fraudster' love to unearth fun toys for us to buy our kiddywinks in their 'Toy of the Week' feature, and by jove... This week is no exception. They really have found an absolute winner to send little Johnny off to his pals with.

Behold the glory of the Dress-Up Riot Suit... Complete with extra long night stick, body armour & face shield. Yes, what better way to ensure that your child is never suspected by Gertrude Creep of being an enemy of Happiness and Freedom by play-acting the consequences of erring in your National Unity!

Why not pick up one of these wonders for your dearest little ones and let them re-enact the Seattle Riots, or possibly practice crowd suppression tactics with the Cat. "Go on Johnny, get your knee in Tiddles throat"... Marvellous!

Miss T'su has an outfit not dissimilar to this, however she has made some... Ahem, 'amendments' that might not work quite so appropriately on a child's play set - After all, we have to protect their young impressionable minds from corrupting influences... Don't we?

That's all for know, I'm off to see Prof. Panzer at the AMC Weapons and Family Sciences lab - He has some spiffy new Pepper Spray and Spray String he wants to show me for marketing to the under 11's... He calls it 'Lord Mesmo's Giggle & Choke Pepper-String'... Catchy.

TTFN!!!

For more details CLICK HERE!

READ ALL THE LATEST NEWS DAILY FROM THE 'ILLITERATE AND FRAUDSTER' ONLY AT ASTRO-MAN.COM