A Riotous piece of fun!

Well, Dear Readers

We all know how those lovely people over at 'The Fraudster' love to unearth fun toys for us to buy our kiddywinks in their 'Toy of the Week' feature, and by jove... This week is no exception. They really have found an absolute winner to send little Johnny off to his pals with.

Behold the glory of the Dress-Up Riot Suit... Complete with extra long night stick, body armour & face shield. Yes, what better way to ensure that your child is never suspected by Gertrude Creep of being an enemy of Happiness and Freedom by play-acting the consequences of erring in your National Unity!

Why not pick up one of these wonders for your dearest little ones and let them re-enact the Seattle Riots, or possibly practice crowd suppression tactics with the Cat. "Go on Johnny, get your knee in Tiddles throat"... Marvellous!

Miss T'su has an outfit not dissimilar to this, however she has made some... Ahem, 'amendments' that might not work quite so appropriately on a child's play set - After all, we have to protect their young impressionable minds from corrupting influences... Don't we?

That's all for know, I'm off to see Prof. Panzer at the AMC Weapons and Family Sciences lab - He has some spiffy new Pepper Spray and Spray String he wants to show me for marketing to the under 11's... He calls it 'Lord Mesmo's Giggle & Choke Pepper-String'... Catchy.

TTFN!!!

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Satellite collision, no cause for alarm unless Iran involved

As the debris from this weeks 'entirely according to plan' collision between an American and Russian satellite spreads inexorably across space to harmlessly bump into some of the other 17,000 man-made objects orbiting the planet, experts have again raised the question of Iran's 'Evil' satellite launch.

Renowned space & science expert Prof. Walter Panzer of the AMC laughed off the possibility of further collisions, now correctly referred to as 'friendly mis-planned mid-space meetings', unless that is, the satellite launched by Iran last week had 'Evil intentions' to collide with otherwise happy AMC satellites.

He clarified the AMC position further in a press conference at Unity plaza saying, "In the unlikely event that more of our 17,000 satellites circling the earth in a ring of uranium, iridium, steel, and explosive fuel should have mid-space meetings, then there is little truth in the theory that it could set off a chain reaction similar to a crash on a motorway in the fog".

He added a cautionary note however, by stating that "We have no idea what the actual plan for the Iranian launch is, but that it will 'undoubtedly be used for evil'".

Lord Mesmo was monitoring the situation further from the AMC's 'Big Ear' DeathStar.

World watches worried while Iran launch evil satellite

The world watched on horrified this week as Iran launched the first of what will probably be many evil satellites into space. The so-called 'communications device', which differs markedly from those launched by MesmoCorp in that it was carried out in flagrant breach of copyright, will - According to most experts - "Undoubtedly be used for evil".

This launch adds to the growing list of concerns about technological advances in the region, along with developments in medicine, education and Society, all of which again - According to our experts - Will "Undoubtedly be used for evil".

Professor Walter Panzer of the AMC Weapons & Family Sciences division said "This is of great concern for us. Any launch by Iran must automatically be assumed to be intended for evil, whereas all our satellite launches at Unity Plaza are solely for the purpose of painting smiley faces on the moon and bringing happiness to children."

Lord Mesmo is believed to be monitoring the situation via the AMC's 'Big Ear' DeathStar, currently orbiting the earth.

Lord Mesmo declares AMC ‘Behemoth’ Server “Greenest yet

In the wake of startling allegations of the amount of CO2 released by even the simplest Google search, Lord Mesmo has today praised the operating performance of his Behemoth range of servers & called on the industry to follow the ever-strident lead of his teams of scientists.

Speaking by telex from ‘Unity Plaza’, our noble leader pointed to the colossal pieces of hardware developed by Prof. Walter Panzer of the AMC ‘Weapons & Family Sciences Division’ as being green on two counts… Firstly, that they clear huge areas of messy trees in order fire the power station to build them and secondly, that each server produces enough heat to power a city the size of Buenos Aires (thankfully, Buenos Aires is already warm enough).

Prof. Panzer, who studied in a secret location in Berlin during his youth and later honed his skills and tan in Argentina, was delighted his department had been singled out by the illustrious one for praise – “We don’t get much contact with Lord Mesmo down here in the underground bunker”, he burbled delightedly.

AMC behemoth servers are currently in mass production and are widely used throughout the business world. Their emissions are offset by the generous donation of unpaid working hours by the young Philippine & Indonesian factory staff.